Fallen Wings, Haunted Dreams
by Shinigami Liliz Black
Summary: Finished! What if the thing you hate the most turn to be the thing you love the most? HD Slash!
1. Into the flight of pained thoughts

**Title:** Fallen Wings, Haunted dreams

**By:** Shinigami Liliz Black

**Summary:** What if the thing you hate the most turn to be the thing you love the most?

**Rating:** PG-13

**Category:** Romance/Angst

**Status:** UNBETAED, Sorry for the errors

**Notes:** Smirnoff Triple Black is a Muggle beer ( Hope I spelled it right)

**Chapter One:** Into the flight of pained thoughts

He blinked at the flashing screen ahead, as his coke lay forgotten on his hand. This is Mione's fault... her fault!

Harry Potter was sitting ahead of his personal laptop, looking at the person talking to him via messenger. He of course, finished his studies and got rid of Voldemort and his oh so mighty Final war. The raven man, at the moment was twenty two years old, fresh from finishing his Auror degree and receiving his Order to work. Harry could still remember how McGonagall cried proudly after knowing how well he did on his Auror degree; after all she helped him through allot.

The Great Hero, did not changed much. His raven hair was still long untangled and terribly messier. His skin was tanned from intense training under the sun while his emerald attractive eyes shined innocently along the pace of his slim, well developed figure. Harry Potter was a man, desired by any woman.

His friends did not help matters. Ron and Hermione, both now married and working inside the Ministry walls, had persuaded his best friend to date. Harry of course, refused; he did not like it since his last date with Cho on Hogsmade at his fifth year. To add things, both Ron and Hermione were forced to find him date to go out and all failed miserably.

Hermione was fuming, not accepting she was failing at something and her being a smart witch, too much for herself she bought Harry a laptop, introducing him into the world of the internet.

"Damn her," Harry cursed, "This is all her fault."

Harry had become fascinated with this 'World'. How a small window can show you even connect you with other people from around the world. He spent night and day, meeting people from placed he didn't knew it existed. Of course, this didn't stop him from being a wizard and have magic on his house.

By the last three weeks Harry met a guy through the many chats he logged on who he still talk with. He could remember how he got him, how he met him.

_SiLvErEyEd: So, **Emerald boy**, where are you from?_

Emerald boy has been his nickname since his first introduction to the internet. Lame, but fits okay.

_**Emerald Boy**: London, England and you?_

_SiLvErEyEd: England as well. Are you gay?_

Harry blinked his eyes at the question; he never thought he'll find a British, asking him about his sexuality. Harry of course, had never talked about it with someone. Yes, you guessed. The great Hero is GAY!

_**Emerald Boy:** Yes, and you?_

_SiLvErEyEd: Always were, since my sixteen._

_**Emerald Boy:**I just found out a year ago..._

_SiLvErEyEd: Had you ever dated a man?_

_**Emerald Boy:** blushs No_

_SiLvErEyEd: Beginner? Interesting..._

After he told Hermione about the night chatting with Silver eyed, Hermione persuade him to ask Silver eyed out.

"What?!" Harry asked incredulously, spilling the content of his coke. "Hermione, he's a guy!"

"So?"

"SO!" He said back unable to say something. Hermione rolled her eyes and slammed her coke down to the table.

"You thought I'll never find out? Merlin Harry, everybody knows you're gay!" Harry opened and closed his mouth staring terrified at her.

"How-"

"You don't seem to like dating women-"

"That doesn't mean I am-"

"Including the day you stared at Seamus's arse for five minutes a row." Harry blushed at the reminder.

"I was not staring-"

"Yeah? Then what you were doing? Inspecting him?" she asked before adding, "His arse?"

"Ok may be I did stare at his arse," he said blushing furiously, "But still that doesn't-"

"Oh just look at you! In denial, while you like to dress well, keep your things tidy and clean. Merlin Harry! Only gay guys are that way!"

Harry slumped deeper into his chair at his dinning table and buried his face on his hand. "Does Ron knows?"

"He's the one who suggested it." Harry's head shot up. Ron had been know for his homophobic rage.

"Did he, took it well -"

"He did Harry. You're his best pal; the least thing he could do was get mad at you."

Hermione crossed the dinning hall and smooth Harry's back as he buried his head in shame. "You shouldn't feel shameful. There are lots of gay guys who are proud of what they are Harry, it's not that bad."

"You should date this Silver eyed, maybe; he can be the perfect thing for you."

This was the reason why Harry Potter was staring at the screen waiting for Silver eyed's answers.

_SiLvErEyEd: I guess we can date, we already talk for several weeks. I must say, I don't have and sort of communication around. I usually use this cyber cafe to talk with you honey._

Harry typed his worries to fact that he was surprised at his speed.

_**Emerald boy:** So you accept?_

_SiLvErEyEd: Yes I do. I guess well met on the clock tower, tomorrow at four; does it sound okay?_

_**Emerald boy**: Perfect._

Harry was beaming, jumping with happiness at his answers. As soon as Silver eyed logged out he was fuming with his clothes deciding what to wear...

Harry frowned, looking at the large mirror on his bedroom, inspecting his clothes. He was clad in a long sleeved dark blue Guess shirt, with long blackish-gray jeans and Bob Marley black elegant shoes. He ruffled his messy hair, reaching his shoulders as he frowned once again at his glasses.

"The glass looks out of place dear," his reflection said. His black glasses weren't the only thing that bothered Harry but also his lighting bolt scar. Despite how much he try to hide it, it would show of itself like a great mark of a celebrity. This was might be a Muggle, so Harry doubt he'll have a bad time with the stares on his scar.

He removed his glasses and with his wand murmured a temporary sight spell before pocketing his wand. He checked his silver Chinese dragon watch marking three pass fifty. Hurrying out, he pick up his car keys (BMW presisely) and closed his penthouse.

This is it.

He pulled off the car, pocketing his car keys as his emerald eyes search frantically for his date. He had no idea how he looked like but his mind as always made a mental picture of his date...

But little did he knew who his date was...

At the distance, Harry saw a man, standing ahead, looking around frantically as him, his back to him as the people pass by him rapidly, hurrying around. A grin spread on his lips as he closed the door and hurried to the man.

"Excuse me," he said tapping the man's shoulder, noticing a white blond hair. "Are you Silver eyed?" He knew he must have looked ridiculous asking for someone he met by nickname but as soon as the man turns everything vanished around them.

"Yes, are you Emerald-" he stopped as well looking back at him. His cold silver eyes were unmistakable, along with his pale pointed face and long white blonde hair. Harry in other words was staring back at his nemesis from Hogwarts, Draco Malfoy.

It was after some second of staring that both man jumped back and point at each others staring horribly while saying at the same time:

"Potter!" "Malfoy!"

"What are you doing here!" the said in unison and glared at each others.

Draco clear his throat as he smooth his Zara long sleeved tight shirt with black fine tight jean and polished black boots. "I happen to be waiting for my date."

"So do I," Harry said through gritted teeth not dropping his angry glare at him.

"So you do finally date someone. Let's wait if it's tolerable enough or horribly looking like you."

"And you think your is better?" Harry asked sarcastically.

"Yes, and he happens to be called Emerald," Draco replied sneering horribly at him with his high aristocracy might.

Harry smirked crossing his arms. "Really? I happen to be that guy name Emerald. And you Silver eyed are you not?"

Draco expression was priceless; his sneering was gone replaced by a look of terror, his high aristocracy pose was gone replaced by a pointing finger.

"You!?"

"Me, yes."

"GAY!?"

"Yes."

"AND NEVER DATED A MAN?!" Harry's confident dropped and blushed furiously while glaring at Malfoy.

"And you did?" Draco was laughing, holding his sides, leaning over the wall.

"Potter gasps is laughs GAY!" Harry was angry, he cling his fist tightly and turn to leave.

"What Potter? Scare?" he whipped around to face Malfoy smirking horribly at him.

"No," he breathed out. "But it's rather uncomforting."

"Wait Potter!" Draco called running towards him as he broke into a walk. Harry stopped as soon he felt Draco's hands on his shoulders; it seems to have sent warm jolts around his body.

"Let's give it a try," he whispered. Harry turned, facing the blonde man. His cold silver eyes swirled from an instant with a warm emotion he had never witness from the Ex-Slytherin blond.

He opened his mouth as he noticed the short distance between them and closed it unable to speak a word; he was merely inches away from him. Harry was filled with thoughts; many unmannered thought, startling him. How come he has such thoughts?

It was at first Harry had thought about taking Malfoy's offer for pure fun. Just as he think Malfoy will take things. After all, how come Malfoy would like to give it a try? They're enemies!? It would be bluntly obvious he will humiliate the great Potter after using him. But no, Harry won't let him, oh yes he won't.

"Alright!" he said fiercely, even if he knew it was a horrible idea. Draco grinned at him.'

"Then let's go down this gorgeous Italian restaurant..." Draco trailed off taking Harry's forearm like they have always been a couple as he drag him down the busy streets of London.

He was staring blankly at the menu as his thoughts dwell on the current problem: Was he doing the right thing? Taking this by pure fun? Draco seems to be hiding his intentions well... He was always grinning, his silver eyes gleaming strangely.

"Would you like something before the food Harry?" he asked.

That seems to snap him out of his trance and stared at both man waiting his answer. "No, no thank you."

Draco grinned as the waiter bowed and left. Harry couldn't hold himself and hissed from across the table, "Did you just called me Harry?"

The table cloth felt smooth with a vibrant dark red color, gold napkins and silver forks. The restaurant, to say, was extremely expensive and highly perfect for their taste. "Yes I did," Draco replied, fingering the edge of the empty crystal goblet. "Why?"

"Well we-"

"We're dating right? It would be wrong to call you Potter," he said softly, ignoring the shocking expression from the raven man.

Silence surrounded them as the waiter brought Draco's wine and the blond stare off dreamily out of the nearest window from his left, showing the streets of London. Harry took the chance to inspect the blond. He had change, from the spoiled brat of slicked blond hair to a man similar to his father, with long messy white blond hair, his eyes swirling and gleaming with intense emotion unlike those cold silver eyes, glaring, cursing every inch of his skin he saw at his years at Hogwarts.

Draco seem to have noticed Harry's long staring and turned to smile weakly at him. Harry blushed ripping his gaze off the blond, interest in the dark red fabric. "So Harry," Draco began, placing his goblet down at the table.,"How did you found out you were gay?"

"I won't spill it." Draco chuckled and took a huge glup from his goblet before opening his mouth.

"I found out while dating few girls at Hogwarts that my eyes and body did felt good with boys rather than girls. Girls are so complicated."

"You think I will spill my guts out because you did told me?" Harry questioned dryly.

"It's only fair."

"Big news Malfoy, I'm not an open book." The blond man seem to be disappointed; he placed the goblet at the table and fingered the fork at his right.

"Don't start saying it is my fault we fight, if you're being an insufferable bastard to me." Harry had to contain the urge of glaring at the blond and stomping out of the restaurant. Damn! He hate when people are right about him.

He crossed his arms and stared out the window. "I found out after many dates, that I was really gay," he mumbled.

"And you never dated a man?"

The conversation continued even after the food came. Harry's fuming and anger faded away replace by a rather intriguing side, as Malfoy speak of many things he spend his time off. The day passed by, and both man enjoyed remembering many thing from their childhood and school years.

Surely, Malfoy do knows to hide a thing, that's if he's really planning what he is planning to do as well...

He felt someone knocking the window of his passenger seat. He stared into Draco's silver orbs as he urgently wait for him to lower the window.

"What?" he asked, rather harshly.

"Can you drop me off?" He asked, nervously tugging his blonde white hair behind his ear.

Harry sighed and leaned over to open the passenger seat. Draco sat down, closing the door and fasting his seat belt. "Just follow straight."

He hit the gasoline and staring ahead at the shiny light of the night for several minutes. "Why didn't you Apparate?" he asked looking as the blond man, now picking an old Muggle magazine from the dash board.

"Hey this is-"

"Give me that!" He growled reaching for the magazine. He snatched it away from the blond and threw it back. "I asked you a question!"

"I forgot my wand back home!" Draco replied angrily. "Go on laugh!"

"You're definitely the worst wizard I had ever met."

"I always was," he muttered bitterly, crossing his arms. He suddenly looked out and screamed alarmed, "STOP!"

Harry hit the brakes hastily as the tires screeched at his sudden command. Draco held his chest at the accident. "Merlin Potter!"

"You shouldn't have screamed like that!" Harry said fiercely, his green eyes flashing angrily.

"You almost pass my apartment!"

"If you only would have stop muttering and pay attention!"

"Who was going at high speed eh?"

"Fine, it is my fault! Happy?" Harry said pissed off. Draco chuckled, wriggling his eyebrows.

"You look rather attractive when you're angry," he whispered leaning over. Harry's heart was ramming inside him and his throat had tightened. Second by second, Draco leaned closer, until their lips brushed and parted.

It was a new, exciting experience for Harry. He never had witness such full blast of exciting emotion at a simple move; a move that little by little urge him to feel more, to touch more, to bite and claim.

Malfoy's lips were soft, warm and precisely delicious as he ran his tongue inside, into a dueling of wet tongues and soft moaning of enjoyment. He slipped his hand around Harry's neck, suppressing a small gasp of delights from the raven man. It was so delicious, so pleasurable.

Draco broke the kiss, nibbling his lower lips, now swollen from the breathless wet kiss. He grinned, as Harry's eyes stared at him, startled, shocked and breathing heavily. He rubbed the raven man's cheek and plant a quick kiss on his lips, leaving Harry with the urge to devour them.

"See you tomorrow I guess."

Draco closed the door behind him and walked inside his apartment. It was after some seconds that Harry took conscience and resumed his driving back home, dwell on a new thought.

Did he really did the right thing?

"Do you like Ice Cream?"

"Not much," Harry replied scratching the back of his neck, frustrated.

"Then I'll take two Cookies and Cream cups; I'll pay."

"Malfoy-"

"Draco," the blonde corrected. Harry sighed as he took the cup.

It was the forth time Harry went out with Draco Malfoy, his once swore nemesis. This time, Draco had decided for an early date at the park by the cause of his late night work certain days a week.

Draco Malfoy was a Potion assistant on St. Mungus, helping finding causes and cure to many accidents and maladies. Harry did not found it surprising; the blond ability on Potion were excellent, unlike his.

"Are you sure about this?" Harry asked as they hurried to sit on an empty bench. "Us, at the park full of Muggles?"

"Is there something wrong about it?" Draco asked taking a full spoon of his ice-cream.

"No, but Muggles are homophobic." Draco gulped the ice-cream on his mouth and licked his lips.

"Just fuck them."

"Malfoy!"

"Draco!" the blond hissed. "When do you think you'll start calling me Draco?" Harry coughed his ice-cream, ignoring the question and crossed his legs.

"Don't try to avoid my question."

"Draco, there, happy?" He narrowed his eyes before crossing his arms. "What?"

"You're not meaning it."

"Oh for God's sake!" he swore out loud.

"Kiss me!"

"What?!" Harry asked startled, staring terrified at the blonde, "We're on public!"

"So?"

"SO!" he hissed, "I can't, there are Muggles around."

"You don't like me," he whined, crossing his arms.

"I do!" He lied.

"Then kiss me, prove it!" Harry rolled his eyes, and reluctantly leaned over to kiss the blonde. He felt something cold on his lips and jumped back, wiping the white cream from his lips.

"Ha fool you!" Draco said between sniggers. He glared at the blond and grunted crossing his arms as he blushed slightly.

Draco snatched his glasses away, making Harry see blurry shapes. "Give them back!"

"Catch them!"

"I can't see properly!" he hissed, reaching for Draco's hand holding his glasses.

"But you can see which hand have them do you?"

"Malfoy!" But the blond had already leaped to his feet and ran off the vast green grass field teasing Harry to follow him.

Harry chase him halfway around the park as Draco laughed until he was able to knock down the blonde, sending them rolling downhill a low mountain of green grass. Draco's laughs filled his ears like a full melody of slow soft music of joy and he couldn't help to laugh as well.

They stopped rolling, still laughing and finally looking how they end up. Draco was on top of Harry, his hair messier, with several twigs of grass in it. Harry was sprawled; his raven hair similar to Draco's feeling the breath of Draco's mouth inches from his lips. The position was rather exciting, if only he could reach and kiss him...

Draco slipped his glasses on and he stare into the swirling eyes of the blond gleaming at him happily, filled with lovely emotions. It was at the same time, Harry felt his heart sank to the pit of his stomach at the realization.

Draco was taking this date seriously and Harry was horribly playing with it.

Oh Shite!

"How's your date with Silver eyed?" Hermione asked, as he passed the raven man a Smirnoff Triple Black. Harry took the beer hastily and gulp half the bottle in seconds.

"I'm such a bastard," he muttered.

"You're not."

"Mione you don't know-"

"Of course I don't! You haven't told me!"

"Silver eyed, I told him before dating that I like him; hell, even love him. And he happens to be Malfoy."

Hermione did not say a word, just stared at the raven man. "I told him I was attracted, but now I'm not."

"You're telling me," she began, "That after finding out he was Malfoy, you stopped feeling something?"

"Of course! This is Malfoy we're talking about!"

"Did you enjoy these dates?"

"Well yeah, I did."

Hermione looked thoughtful until smiling sweetly at him. "Maybe this Malfoy is not the same one at school. I heard he save more than sixteen lives on one months at St. Mungos-"

"This isn't right! He's Malfoy!"

"Oh don't be childish Harry! People change!"

He stared at his bottle... maybe Hermione is right, people do change. After Voldemort's war, people did change...

TBC...

Notes: I think this will be two chapters with two sequels (or one, I dunno)


	2. The Song of Sorry A pure revelation

**Title:** Fallen Wings, Haunted dreams

**By:** Shinigami Liliz Black

**Summary:** What if the thing you hate the most turn to be the thing you love the most?

**Rating:** PG-13

**Category:** Romance/Angst

**Status:** UNBETAED, Sorry for the errors

Notes: Song 'Everytime' from Britney Spears. It was perfect for this situation. Carpe Retractus is a spell used by Ron on the game to attract things or himself to things. (Like spiderman)

* * *

**Chapter Two: The Song of Sorry; A pure revelation**

_He stared horrified at his friend. "MIONE!"_

"_Don't start," she warned as she fixed her dinning table, "We're having a party and you'll be going with Malfoy."_

"_But Mione!" he whined._

"_I said it Harry Potter! You will assist with your date!"_

"_People will be coming!" he hissed. "They don't-"_

"_They do know, and there's nothing wrong with being gay Harry." Harry crossed his arms and slumped back into the sofa._

"_It is not fair."_

"_It is, I'm giving you a chance to explain things to Draco," she pointed out, staring intently into the raven man's emerald eyes._

"_I don't want to," he replied._

"_Don't be ignorant!" she exclaimed rolling her eyes, "People change Harry! Now go and fetch Draco." Harry heard small pops on the kitchen and guessed the people were arriving..._

He pulled off the car, shaking the previous conversation of Hermione. Damn why can the witch convince him so easily? He hated it.

Harry was depressed, not because he will expose his real sexuality but the thought to play a date with Draco. He knows it was wrong, and he should tell the blond, but he didn't have the guts to. He didn't want the blond to scream all over him by his little game.

He knocked nervously at the blonde's apartment with a horrible tight feeling at the pit of his stomach. The voice of the blond called him softly to enter, making his throat tight and dry.

As he did so, he was met with a simple, yet decorated apartment with floating candles high at the ceiling, wizardry objects around him along a small kitchen, followed beside a living room beside the sliding crystal doors of the balcony and three doors leading to the bathroom, closet and his own bedroom.

Draco came out from one of them as Harry closed the door behind him. "Nice," he murmured. Draco was fastening his watch as he approached Harry.

"Thanks," he mumbled and planted a quick kiss on his lips. Harry stared at the blonde's nice, wet, pale bare chest. How the nipple stood out at wetness and the cold of the room. Draco suppresses a shudder as he finished fastening the watch and pulled on his Armani white polo.

"Is something wrong?" he asked noticing Harry oogling at him as he buttoned his polo. The raven man shook his head side to side, still unable to rip his eyes off; not only his shirt was unfastened but his trousers were halfway unzipped. Draco grinned and wrapped his arms around the raven man and sealed his lips into his, into a passionate lustful kiss. Harry's inside froze, he didn't knew what to do, how to react but as always his hormones have their little ways to betray him and suddenly kick in, returning the kiss, with the searing desire to feel more. Draco seems to have moaned into his mouth sending shiver down his spine and abdomen. It was perfect, just...

Draco broke the kiss, his lips red and pinky, and purred, "Best get dress."

Harry's hand flew up to his face in frustration as Draco turned his back to him. Oh this is far more difficult that it sounds. Too difficult...

* * *

"Are you sure?"

"Yes I'm sure Draco I won't get mad."

"Really, really?" the blonde asked, with puppy eyes as he held Seamus hand's.

"You can go Draco, I won't get mad." Harry sighed covering his face as Draco left his seat with Seamus into the dance floor Hermione conjured. Everything was getting horrible.

Beside him, someone slumped down into the sofa as he burry his face on his hands, begging for the earth to swallow him. "What's up with the tragic face?"

"What now, Mione?"

"Eh? I'm hurt!" Harry turned to the source, to find Ron raising his red eyebrows at him. The red head was taller as always, about 6'3 with messy red hair, stunning hazel eyes and freckled face.

"I thought-"

"Nah, don't worry mate," Ron said cheerfully and hand him down a Smirnoff. "Pick up the habit of Muggle drinks." Ron leaned over and rested his forearms on his knees, taking a huge gulp of his drink.

"I heard about you and Malfoy-" Harry groaned, automatically rubbing his hands on his temples. "What?"

"Malfoy," Harry mumbled, "He doesn't know, but it's all a lie." Ron furrowed his eyebrows confusedly.

"I don't-"

"I started dating him thinking he would date me for fun or revenge but little by little..."

"You were wrong," Ron finished.

"I can't sleep peacefully, knowing this Ron. I'm lying to him, I don't love him!" Ron placed his hand on the raven man's shoulder.

"Uh Harry," he said shaking his shoulder slightly.

"I don't know how to tell- What Ron!" The red head gesture with his gaze to look ahead but as Harry did, the entire world went down with him.

Draco's expression was a painful sight to bear. His silver eyes swirl with emotions, realization, anger, loathe; all together. In seconds it stop, his eyes staring at him emotionless, looking delicate and crystalline. "Draco."

The blond man turned and dashed to the nearest exit but Harry was fast and grasped his forearm. "Draco wait-"

A full blow came; the pale hand slapping him across the face with a loathing angering expression, with out saying a word; it was not needed, Harry could read it on his eyes. He, on the other hand was speechless as the party stopped around them, watching the sudden scene; the world stopped around them and the blonde's final glare, made him resume his walking.

Harry turned to look at Ron for help. The red head rolled his eyes and hissed out "Go!"

He managed to catch up with the blonde around the shiny smiling moon and the vast starry night. His voice echoed, calling softly at the blonde's name, "Draco, please let me-"

Abruptly, the blonde man turned, his loud outburst exploding through the night, "I gave you my trust!"

"Draco-"

"Everything! I thought things were perfect!"

"I thought-"

"You thought but you never thought about me! All those words, all those kisses are lies, bloody lies from you!" The blonde's body was shaking all over as his silver eyes watering, blazing with salty tears; he tried to hide with his glare.

"I gave you my heart," he hissed a bit hoarsely, "I gave in everything to love you and you played like a bloody catch that snitch game."

With a rapid turn, the blond was running down the street drowning into the dim darkness and fading away. Harry's knees hit the ground like a cold dungeon cell, he felt guilty, dirty, and shameful that for one, he received love, and played with it, in a painfully sad way.

**Notice me **

**Take my hand  
Why are we  
Strangers when  
Our love is strong  
Why carry on without me?**

_Live is not the same. The pressure and guiltiness of my heart is so strong..._

"Harry?" The raven man did not dare to look as the clever witch place a warm mug of tea in front of him, dazing off, feeling every breath he take to be heavier and difficult each turn.

"I'm ok, I'm ok," he keeps murmuring, worrying Hermione far than she was.

It has been a week after Harry's break up with Draco. The raven man looked like shit. His shirt were completely unbuttoned, his cloak hanging halfway his shoulders, as his glasses dangle from the tip of his nose, and his emerald eyes were empty, dim, looking at the wall ahead.

"Drink your tea," Hermione said. The raven man stood up and left the place speechless, walking slowly, lost into a painful world of guilt, memories...

"You're not the Harry I know," Hermione whispered biting her lips, holding the tears coming.

_Memories are so painful. Why do I have to remember? This is madness..._

**Everytime I try to fly  
I fall without my wings  
I feel so small  
I guess I need you baby  
And everytime I see you in my dreams  
I see your face, it's haunting me  
I guess I need you baby  
**

He looked at his laptop, untouched, looking as same he left her weeks ago. He was sitting on his bed, not bothering to undress, drowning...

_Everything was perfect, Just perfect..._

**I make believe  
That you are here  
It's the only way  
I see clear  
What have I done  
You seem to move on easy**

"Potter."

He snapped his head to his instructor. The huge, scared, long hair wizard of Mad Eye Moody growled at the lack of response from the raven man. His magical eye rolled disgustingly on his eyelid.

"Shall we start our lesson?" He nodded slowly, removing his wand from his pocket. "We will be using Carpe Retractus for defensive movement."

Harry did not bother to say yes. His heartless eyes, his mind, himself were not there...

"**Carpe Retractus**!" The long purple robe grasped him from his left foot knocking him flat on his back. His wand flew off his hand, trying to suppress the exploding pain at the back of his head. He deserves it...

"You ok?" Moody asked as Harry slowly stand up, balancing his body upright completely. His hands grasped his scar prickling, and ruffled his hair.

"I'm ok, I'm ok," he mumbled summoning his wand.

"Ready?" Moody shouted the spell as once again knocked the raven man to the floor, this time worst than before. "You're not concentrating Potter! I can't train with you daydreaming."

"Forgive me," he whispered, the words giving him tight feelings on his throat and a horrible pain on his head.

"I'm dismissing this training lesson," Moody said grumpily. "Call when you're feeling up to it."

Moody Disapparated as Harry sat solitarily drawing his knees against his chest as the wind blew softly around the small yard...

**And everytime I try to fly  
I fall without my wings  
I feel so small  
I guess I need you baby  
And everytime I see you in my dreams  
I see your face, you're haunting me  
I guess I need you baby**

"What's your problem sir?" the lady behind the counter asked.

"Yes I got a bit of a split up head," he mumbled.

"Cause?"

"Training..."

"Follow me." He followed the witch into the Ground Floor. "Since you'll not need a doctor, an assistant will check you."

Harry nodded dazedly barely listening to her words. She let him in on a white blue ward and closed the door behind him. The raven man removed his glasses and buried his face on his hands despise the blood running down his neck.

He felt the door open and a slight gasp. Harry turned to look at the source when he remembered he did not have his glasses on. As he reached for them, they slipped down to the floor. Embarrassed, he continued to look at the blurry shape making his way towards him.

"I got a smack on my head and I can't stop the bleeding." The figure chuckled and pointed his wand at him.

"_Jiva,"_ he murmured under his breath. The pain was gone and Harry sighed on relief. The figure pressed something against his hands; it was his glasses.

"Thank you," he said as he placed his glasses but the last thing he saw was the cold stare of his ex-lover and in a swift he was gone into the corridor outside.

* * *

"Will you go out with me?" He spilled the content of his drinks all over the carpet of his living room.

"WHAT?"

"Oh sorry I-" The brunette regretted embarrassed.

"What did you say?"

"Will you go out with me?"

"Seamus, I'm on the middle of a break down!" Harry exclaimed.

"At least, can I kiss you?" he asked wriggling his fingers nervously.

Harry opened and closed his mouth...**_Would it be the same?_**

Seamus stood up, and leaned over, brushing his lips against the raven man. He expected to be electrifying, with need, desire, passion but none came to what he felt with Seamus's lips...

_Nothing...**  
**_

_**I don't know why, but I can't stop the feelings now...**_

Tears rolled down his cheeks, his emerald eyes shining tearfully...

**I may have made it rain  
Please forgive me  
My weakness caused you pain  
And this song is my sorry**

**_I can't stop thinking..._ **

Ohhhh

**_It's not the same..._ **

At night I pray  
That soon your face  
Will fade away

_**His eyes, his lips, his face, his skin... everything is in me... I can't take it off now...**_

_**Now that I feel guilty of what I have done...**_

**  
And everytime I try to fly  
I fall without my wings  
I feel so small  
I guess I need you baby  
And everytime I see you in my dreams  
I see your face, you're haunting me  
I guess I need you baby**

_**Forgive me... I guess....**_

He buried his face on his hands...

_**I need you...**_

* * *

****

Everything was so...so desperate. His hands didn't stop shaking on his empty pockets. He bit his lips, getting nervous, as he stared at the door of the blonde's apartment. _It's only a door standing in our way..._

Harry was torn between busting in and running away from all this chaos and continues grieving his errors, but his heart tells no lies. This is the moment; he needed the blonde to continue on. It was him who brings him smiles and joy after all this final war ended. Without the blonde, Harry will never be the same; and he didn't want things to be different.

It seems like an eternity when his hand turned the knob...

The door swung open slowly at his touch. He tried to open his mouth but couldn't find the words. Finally, he settled with knocking the opened door.

"Come in, it's unlocked!" the blonde's voice called and his heart skipped a beat." I'm on my room." He opened the door where the voice came from and saw him folding clothes on his bed...

He was the same. Everything from him was still intact.

His white blonde hair...

His silver eyes...

His pale yet radiant skin...

The pink of his lips...

The world stopped around them as the silver eyes land on his, questioning, the mask of indifference dropping suddenly...

In instinct, Draco drew his wand out but Harry was fast and dodged the incantation easily thanks to his Auror training. Harry approximate the blonde slowly as spell spread around the room. Draco was trying to avoid him. He did not want him near.

In was when Draco raised his wand and Harry seized the opportunity to grasp his wrist and held the wand away from him. He pushed the blonde against the nearest wall, his wand hand above his head and his other hand pinned behind him.

"What are you looking for Potter?" His voice hit Harry like a buckle of ice water.

"Look at me," Harry whispered hoarsely.

"I have nothing to look at," he growled struggling to get free.

"Draco stop it."

"You, you-"

"You can kill me, torture me but before hear me out," Harry whispered. He leaned over until his lips were inches away from Draco earlobe. "I thought this was all a game for you so I decided to play the same position."

"Then you showed me many sides I didn't know, I didn't expect from you and you kiss me. I will be honest; it was my first kiss man to man. I thought I would feel nothing but everything keeps changing. You alter me, lust me, swept me and I was unaware of it."

"Little by little I observed your smile, your sparkling eyes, how you would bend over laughing, or how heavy your breath was against my lips; is when I realize this was all real, it was not plotted. I was pained, to know this so I lie, for not making you suffer." The wand on Draco's hand fell off to the floor as Harry rest his chin on his shoulder, their chest brushing.

"When you found out, I was terrified of you reaction, of your words, how you ran off, telling me you give in everything to love me, and yet I used you. Hell broke loose into my life. I was guilty, dirty, and shameful of my acts. Somebody loved me and I was too arrogant to see it.

"The days of trauma and depression angst me, tire me. I barely eat, talk, and walk; I was useless, it was not the same. Seamus popped in one day, and persuaded me to kiss him. When he did I felt nothing, absolutely nothing."

"Why are you-" Draco tried to ask but Harry's deep talking breath and hoarsely cleaning throat interrupted him.

"I realize it was you. You make me feel happy, complete; you make me feel what I dream, I want, I desire. I couldn't wake up and smile another day without you. I couldn't rip you off; why? Why, If I didn't love you?

"A mutual feeling grew and turned into pure attraction. I need you, I need you to continue being me, be Harry." He push himself away enough to look at the blonde face. He was in shock staring now at his green orbs, his silver eyes swirling emotionally sad.

Harry's green orbs were shinning with tears, as they cascade down his cheek endless. His voice was barely hearable but Draco could make the words. "Please forgive me." The raven man broke down crying, falling to his knees weakly, sobbing, letting the tears soak the carpet his fingers were gripping. Draco felt his eyes watering, no one, never had talk to him like that, no one had cried for his forgiveness. The sight of the raven man was too painful...

"Harry," he whispered, kneeling over and smoothing the raven's shoulder, "Look at me." Harry raised his head, his green orbs soaked and red, sobbing slightly. "I forgive you."

Harry smiled weakly through the tears and his hand grip the blonde's chest desperately. Draco held him like there was no tomorrow, rubbing his back softly. " You-" Harry tried to said but Draco pressed his lips against his. He responded immediately and relaxed at the blonde's soft caress of his tongue on his mouth. Harry wrapped his arms around Draco's waist pressing their bodies together.

Draco broke the kiss and stood up, helping the other man. "There's nothing more to talk about. Lets enjoy each other's company." Harry nodded weakly, wiping the tears and smiling. Draco sat down on the bed and removed his shirt before laying flat on his back. "Come."

Harry took off his jean jacket and lay down beside him, resting his head on the blonde's shoulder. The blonde's hand reached for Harry messy untangled locks, smoothing them; Harry's arm snaked his way around Draco's waist.

Harry took the opportunity to contemplate, for minutes, the blonde staring peacefully at the roof, still smoothing his hair, as the pale eyelashes dropped slowly, His white blonde long hair fit perfectly beneath him, like golden silky blankets, combining with his pale radiant skin, and his defined muscles.

Harry let his own eyelashes drop slowly and one new truth growing into his mind. He fell in love...

He rested his head on the raven man's shoulder, breathing heavily, as he gripped the raven man's waist, gritting his teeth. Harry on the other hand was digging his nail on the back of Draco's shoulder gripping him fiercely closer, a painful pleasurable moan coming from his throat abruptly at every move Draco made.

"Do you want me to stop?" Harry gritted his teeth painfully and shook his head. "Relax, relax." Harry's eyes shined with uneasy tears, shaking his head, tension from all the pressure and tight horrible feeling of Draco's groin inside him.

"I don't want to hurt you."

"I can't help it, it hurts!"

"It's your first time. Maybe we should do it-"

"No," Harry breathed out, "I made you wait so long for this."

"But-"

"Keep going," he said urgently. Draco finally manage to enter him fully, and stopping for Harry to take his breath. As he did so, Draco drew Harry legs to his shoulder earning a wince from the raven man.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes," His rhythm became slow and gentle, listening how Harry painfully yet pleasurably moans at his moves.

"This is-"

"So-" Harry said and let out a loud moan, sending Draco to the edge.

"Perfect," Draco breathed out, holding himself. "Harry," he called through gritted teeth.

"What?"

"Can I come in you?" Harry nodded. Draco's speed intensified hitting Harry's prostate sending the other man to the edge as well. It didn't pass long when Draco climaxed that Harry did as well.

Draco exhaust slumped down into the raven man after he moved his legs out. Harry smile and hugged him closely, smoothing his wet white blonde hair.

"Draco."

"Mhmm?"

"I know it's fast but, will you marry me?" There was a silence around the room as Harry wait for an answer.

"I guess I'll take the risk," he replied, raising his head. Harry smile at him, both silver and green orbs swirling into one being. Draco's lips pressed against Harry's passionately, giving his heart to it.

They were already one being sharing the same dreams and same wings...

**THE END**

* * *

Notes: Few points I'll like to make. No Sequel sorry!

Harry was not in love with Draco the entire story he fell in when he contemplate the sight of the blonde.

Harry was not depressed by his breakup with Draco but what he did to the blonde and made him feel. He was feeling guilty.

The reason I place the scene of Harry meeting Draco at St. Mungus was to fit the song a bit. How Draco can go on so easily like nothing happen between them when Harry was stressing out at all this problem. The song did not inspire this story, it happens to come in while I was writing the scene where Draco slapped Harry. My friend gave me the song and I like it and add it to the story.

The reason Seamus asks Harry to kiss him is a way for Harry to find out his feelings for the blond. Harry tried to deal with his life like Draco did, like nothing happen but couldn't.


End file.
